Stop! Ladies, Hollywood has LIED to you. I’m referring to that “friend with benefits”
you have had for awhile that you try to tell yourself is just a friend, but you
secretly hope he wakes up one day and
realizes that he’s in love with you.
It’s the same situation that has been depicted in movie after movie over
the last decade. I’m sorry to be the
bearer of bad news, but it’s never going to happen!
We make comments all the time
about how romance is dead and how there are no gentlemen left out there anymore. It’s 100% our fault! People will treat you the way you allow them
to. We've created an epidemic of men who
treat women like disposable cups. Men of
earlier times acted like gentlemen because they had no other choice. If they wanted attention from a woman, they
had to earn it with things such as romance and actually dating them. Women back then had morals and values. They held their virginity as something sacred
and a gift. Now women throw themselves
at men in hopes to get a little attention to feel better about ourselves
because society has told us we’re not enough.
I've spent the better part of my
adult life as single. During that time I've made this exact same mistake. I
felt like I had to earn a relationship with things such as how much money I
made or with sex because I felt inadequate in other ways such as my weight and
my looks. A man would only want to be
with me if he saw how good I was in bed or saw how much money I had to bring to
the table. Each and every time, I set
myself up for major disappointment. Some
of the situations would turn out to be one night stands, but others were drawn
out for months and even years. I would
play it cool with the guy, but secretly hope we’d end up together one day. Each and every time, I’d get my feelings hurt
when I finally let the guy know how I felt about him and he rejected me.
In every single case, the men
made it perfectly clear from day one that he wasn't looking for anything serious. I should have walked away right
then. Instead, I thought I could change
his mind if I was good enough. I was
afraid of rejection, so I fed into the situation in the hopes it would turn out
in the end. Would the guy probably have
rejected me if I didn't give in?
Absolutely! That’s ok though,
because he was honest with me in his intentions and I should have taken him at
face value.
Herein lies the problem. Men will continue to behave in this cycle if
we as single women continue to allow it.
If a man tells you he’s not looking for anything serious, tell him “that’s
too bad” and walk away. If he’s
interested enough, he will actually try to date you. If he’s only looking for someone to sleep
with, then he will move on to the next insecure woman. Once enough women in this country put their
foot down, and demand respect (and close their legs), romance and real dating
will resurface.
I will step off my soapbox
now. :-)
Becky R.
